Life Sucks, Just Enjoy

其实纠结了很久不知道是该叫做路路还是娜娜，后来觉得娜娜过于暧昧了一些。恩，路路是我高中同学。现在想想她当时的样子，都依然很清晰。结一个简单的辫子，戴一副厚厚的眼镜，学院派的作风一眼就可以被人认出来。说实话，那时的路路算不上一个标准的美女。不过她不需要这些来引起别人的注意，一直以来都很勤奋的扑在学习上。个子小小的她掩埋在一堆书中间可以一动不动的坐上一整天。有的时候会让人很心痛。不过想不清楚为什么，每次考试她都会没有什么悬念的名列在榜首。我自认为学习也算是刻苦，可是每次看到她的时候，还是会有一种莫名的崇拜感。我想这也是为什么我上了大学，还没有搞清楚自己状况的时候竟然向她表白过。如果那个时候她不把我拒绝，可能我不会是现在这个样子。

上了大学，奔赴了两个相隔很远的城市，有了各自不同的生活，我们之间的联系就少了很多。可是好像这没有使我们之间有了什么隔阂。每次在QQ上面碰见，我们都会聊上很久。关于我的事情，当我想明白的时候，我还是第一个告诉了她。后来知道了她有了男朋友，当时的我心里面还是酸酸的，却说不出原因。其实当时我知道了以后很讶异，可能是我一直把她当做高中时代的小女孩--最好的伴侣就是从来没有离开过手的书本。还有她发给我的相片，差点没有认出来竟然是她，变漂亮变成熟了，身上再也找不到以前的影子了。过了很久，我才明白，一切一切都从来没有停止过变化，我再也没有机会沉浸在那个无忧无虑的中学时代，毕竟，都成为了过去。

今天碰到路路的时候，我和她说自己有一些困难。说出来的时候我很后悔。为什么要去打扰她的清净和闲适。可是她还是鼓励我，说真的有困难的时候，要对她说，她会想办法。语气虽然淡淡的，但是我却很感动，眼泪没有出息的就掉了下来，因为我能感受到她那份关心，来自一个朋友的关心。很多的时候，我觉得距离和时间，可以拉长冲淡很多的东西，可是现在我意识到，其实路路一直没有变，一直还是那个善良的女孩子，我一直注意的都只是表面。

实然一下子，我觉得自己轻松了很多。因为我一直没有失去路路。拥有一个人，可以有很多的方式。相濡以沫，只是许多种方式中的一种。另外还有一种永恒，就是朋友了。

路路，请原谅我，也请接受我一份迟到却真心的祝福：新婚快乐，万事都如意，一生都平安！

下午的时候一个人跑去阳台吸烟。向着窗外看去，才发现不知道什么时候，树上的叶子都早变黄了，有些地方还铺了满满的一地。实然想起老家在深秋的时候也是这样的，现在应该只是剩下光秃秃的树枝了吧。回过神来的时候，自己已经是被冷风吹得瑟瑟发抖了。想起来去冲个澡吧。热水淋下的时候，双臂环绕在自己的双肩，感觉到一种久违的温暖。可是一个温暖的拥抱可以维持多久？一个冲动的许诺会不会实现？一个人一辈子一颗心又要怎样的温度才可能不朽？

厚重的衣服可以覆盖肢体的寒冷，可是冰凉的躯壳怎样来温暖没有了热情的心？也许或早或晚每个人都会真正的知道什么叫做心灰意冷吧，可是我宁愿这种感觉来的足够晚。还好在那一瞬间，有一个人经过我的身边并告诉我要我相信他。我祈祷最后不会是伤害。可是如果一切注定将失去，故事的结局永远是别离，至少我能记住现在我满心全是你的甜蜜。亲爱的，我爱你。

From the moment we wake up in the morning till our head hits the pillow at night our lives are filled with questions. Most are easily answered and soon forgotten, but some questions are much harder to ask because we're so afraid of the answer. Am I making a mistake by marrying this man? Could he ever truely love me? And what happens when we ask ourselves the hard question and get the answer we'd been hoping for? Well, that's when happiness begins.

We all carry something with us. Of course, it's nice if we travel with someone who can help lighten the load. But usually, it's easier to just drop what we've been carrying so we can get home that much sooner. Assuming, of course, there will be someone there to greet us when arrive. Why do we clutch at this baggage, even when we're desperate to move on? Because we all know there's a chance we might let go too soon.

Sooner or later, the time comes when we all must become responsible adults and learn to give up what we want so we can choose to do what is right. Of course, a lifetime of responsibility isn't always easy. And as the years go on, it's a burden that can become too heavy for some to bear. But still, we try to do what is best, what is good--But for those we love.

There's a reason people can't wait for Christmas, and it has little to do with family reunions. Or curling up with a cup of wine with that unexpected kiss, or receiving a present from a special someone. No, people look forward to Christmas, because they know, it's a time for miracles.

晚上和老范聊到好晚，然后他突然下线了。我知道他可能是有事情。于是发了一条简讯道了一声晚安就上床了。可是躺在床上，很久睡不着。和他在一起的时候，他总是可以让我很开心。听他说话，笑了又笑。现在安静下来，突然觉得很不安。因为太幸福了，所以会不安。满数手中所拥有的，没有什么缺憾，此时此刻，我更是别无他求。我真的可以这么幸福吗？不会有什么未知横在以后的路上等我吧？以往的经验，总是告诉我幸福是为以后的不幸买帐。难道这次的幸福会是以前不幸的补偿吗？我不知道。可是我发现，我真的离不开他了。听不到他声音的时候，整个人就对身边所有的东西失去了兴趣。水杯打倒了，我竟然懒得去扶起来。

今天醒了以后，记起梦里被一条不知名的小蛇咬了手臂，两个细细的小孔里面却没有淌出血来。当时竟然只会有一丝的紧张却没有莫名的恐惧。网上查了一下，说蛇是人类能触及的、最古老的性欲的象征。其实还有一些是不好的说法，我宁愿选择不去看。或许梦到蛇，只是暗示现在的我被热情所奴役着，想被那个遇上的人缠绕一辈子，就算咬我一口，我也不会觉得有痛。或许那两个小孔，是他给我一生的信物。

几天来都被一个可怕又固执的念头俘获着。即使长命百岁，也不可能再有比这更幸福的幸福。我所能做的，只有永远珍惜和保有这幸福而已。我觉得自己到手的幸福十分虚无缥缈。倘若赋予每个人的幸福的量早已定下，那么我很有可能在这一个瞬间把一生的幸福挥霍一空。

一个网上叫做“手印记”的朋友告诉我，我想太多了。她说：“当爱上一个人的时候，都会患得患失。你急需确定的是他对你的爱的程度，一份安定的生活，稳定的感情。人们都不想经历什么大风大浪，可不经历风浪的感情也是不牢固的。等他回来的吧，你一切便有了概念。不过，还是会经历很多事情的，生活不简单，却很平凡。呵呵，准备好哦，现在，稍安勿躁。”

其实很多的道理我都懂，可是别人说出来，我才觉得会更可信一些。好吧，我就先静静的等候吧。老范，现在我好想你！

落叶堆积了好几层
而我踩过青春听见
前世谁在泪雨纷纷
一次缘分结一次生
我今生还在等
一世就只能有一次的认真

确认过眼神我遇上对的人
我挥剑转身而鲜血如红唇
前朝记忆度红尘伤人的不是刀刃
是你转世而来的魂
确认过眼神我遇上对的人
我策马出征马蹄声如泪奔
青石板上的月光照进这山城
我一路的跟你轮回声
我对你用情极深

洛阳城旁的老树根
像回忆般延伸你问
经过是谁的心跳声
我拿醇酒一坛饮恨
你那千年眼神是我
醉醉坠入赤壁的伤痕

确认过眼神我遇上对的人
我挥剑转身而鲜血如红唇
前朝记忆度红尘伤人的不是刀刃
是你转世而来的魂
确认过眼神我遇上对的人
我策马出征马蹄声如泪奔
青石板上的月光照进这山城
我一路的跟你轮回声
我对你用情极深

下午些的时候,接到老范电话.他告诉我到甘肃了,刚下飞机.虽然就是淡淡说了两句,可是当时的我开心啊,有点不知所措的.他说,就这么容易满足啊?我说是啊.有的时候,我真正想要的并不多,还有什么比知道自己喜欢的人一切都平安顺利更好呢?

其实那个日子挺好记的.11月30号大半夜了,网上随便聊天的时候遇见的老范.一聊就聊到了第二天的大清早.老范说,我们认识一个月了.我一看是啊,都是12月1号了.以前从来没有和一个陌生人有这么多的话说.可是那天晚上,就觉得他是一个心地挺善良,挺重感情的人.他自己却说,怎么说啊,其实算是一个不好也不坏的人吧.我想,也许就是因为他这么诚实吧.说一个晚上就能喜欢上一个人,可能会觉得有点假,可是一个晚上也足够可以让人牵肠挂肚的.老范约我说晚上一起吃个饭吧.我欣然同意了.可是晚上的时候,联系不到他.后来他发过来一条短信说还是算了吧,他整天东奔西走居无定所的,不会有什么好结果.当时的我很委屈,打电话给好朋友说好想大哭一场啊.为什么好好的突然说变就可以变.当时我一个人站在街上,风刮得我冷到了最心底.于是把他电话删了,短信也删了.后来老范说我还挺干脆的.我说感觉没有什么好纠缠的.而且,我也不是一个很好很优秀的男生,再加上一无所有,又有什么理由要求别人来喜欢我来照顾我.

过了两天,老范打过电话来,他说想了几天,自己也想过安稳生活了,叫我好好在家呆着等他.当时的我想,他不会又是要加班无聊来找我消遣的吧.可是后来他和我真诚的聊了几个小时,聊他的工作,聊他以前的经历,聊他现在的生活.说的越多,我发现我越来越欣赏他.他说他没有念过几年的书,我却觉得他懂的事情比我还要多很多.我不会说话,更不怎么会夸人,我就只说他真的很能干.其实老范以前吃过很多苦,他在海边帮人扛货,现在的工作也让人担心.他却说,他一直觉得自己过得很好,能吃能睡,没有太多物质上的追求.我觉得他憨憨傻傻的,自己辛苦,却又说希望以后给他爱的人好日子生活.听得我很心酸.我想如果真的有这个机会,我要照顾这个男人一辈子.就算他什么时候想逃脱了,我也会缠着他.

今天晚上他来上网找我,聊了两个小时,回酒店了,他又在前台给我打了几个小时电话.我就安安静静的听他讲.他怎么会有那么多的故事可以拿出来说啊.他还说以后他想住在什么样的房子里面,想过上怎么样的生活.听得我真的很神往.放下电话之前他说,他从来没有这么疯狂的和别人聊过.其实我也从来没有这样认真的听过.不过他说得越多,我越觉得,我,能配得上这样优秀的一个大男生吗?怕是到头来,就又像是做了一场梦.

我总是觉得生活里面有那么多的不确定,凭什么我就会是那个被选中的人啊.或许真的像那个叫"排骨寻"的网友说的一样:感情,就是选择自己合适的,有一点像是赌博,在有限的机会里找到自己满意的,虽然也许不是最好的,可是拥有一个放心休息的家才是最终的目的地.

不知道老范是不是这样想的啊?是吗老范?

不知不觉四点过了,老范你睡了吗?我想你了.希望你在兰州这半个月一切都如意,早点回来啊.让我见见你,至于会怎么样,也许不是我能选择的.但这半个月,我想足够我开心了.

What a bright day today. You could seldom enjoy the sun in Chengdu, because it is always cloudy and gloomy around the year. But I feel so depressed from escaping that guy's tight cuddle and getting up. A phase "walk of shame" suddenly came into my mind, wherein a participant in a one-night stand has to go home in the morning wearing clothes that were worn the previous night. What I try to say is not that I feel stigma, but SAD. 

I met the guy last night when I was surfing on the net. After some words, I realized we have chatted before but never dated each other. Like usual, I found nothing to communicate with him (I am not a talktive person). Then there was a long silent time. About half an hour, he sent me a message: Do you want to have a meet now and sleep together and I promise there will be no sex just talking? Maybe I have been single for really a long time, and all the time I keep dating my Mr. Hands. I convinced myself of believing him (I knew I was cheating myself). When off the taxi, I found him a cute guy. I kinda like him. Then everthing had happened. But now I try to figure out what we did or talked about last night except sex, there was nothing.

I slept not well the whole night. I guess I may have a crush on him a little bit at first sight. What could I do in a one-night stand! Also he is not looking for a long term relationship. Usually I will be scared away when somebody wants a relationship with me, especially after having sex, this kind of questions will freak me out.  Sometimes I feel like trying to settle down. I don't think I know myself well these years. Or this gives rise to my single pathetic life.

Maybe I should just forget the comfort and pretend nothing happened last night.

In the superficial world of high fashion, image is everything. Styles come and go, and the only constants are the superthin beauties who wear them. How can an ordinary girl - a slightly plump, plain-Jane from Queens - possibly fit in?

If you took a moment to get to know Betty Suarez, you'd see how sweet, intelligent and hard-working she is. But few people do, because in the world of high fashion Betty is the oversized peg in the petite round hole. When publishing mogul Bradford Meade hands the reigns of Mode, the bible of the fashion industry, over to his son, Daniel, he specifically hires Betty as his son's new assistant - mostly because she's the only woman in NYC Daniel won't sleep with. Though this "player" is reluctant to accept her at first, Betty's indomitable spirit and bright ideas will eventually win him over. Neither of them really knows the ins and outs of the fashion world, but the two are a formidable team against those who will do anything to see them fall.

And they really are swimming with the sharks. Diva fashionista Wilhelmina Slater is incensed that Bradford Meade passed her over and promoted Daniel to the coveted job after the mysterious death (or was it?) of Mode's legendary editor, Fey Sommers. Wilhelmina, along with toadying assistant Marc and scheming receptionist Amanda are out to sabotage Daniel and Betty any chance they get. Betty finds a friend in warm-hearted Christina who works as the magazine's in-house seamstress and seems to know everything about everybody who works there.

Away from work, Betty's home life is far from glamorous. Dad Ignacio and her sister, Hilda, worry that she's just setting herself up for a fall, while nephew Justin encourages his aunt to dream big (even if he's aghast at her fashion sense). Nerdy boyfriend Walter, who unceremoniously dumped Betty, keeps turning up despite her attempts to get him to stay away.

A fresh cute guy in Season 3 -- Jesse (I love his voice and songs)

Rock singer/songwriter Val Emmich was raised in Manalapan, New Jersey, and took up the guitar after he was diagnosed with Lyme Disease at the age of 15 and was forced to curtail his physical activities. He graduated Manalapan High School. Soon, he was writing his own songs. He attended Rutgers University, and after graduating turned to music full-time, releasing his first EP, The 15-Minute Relationship, in the summer of 2001 without the benefit of a record contract. He then turned to producer Wayne Dorell (who has worked with Tonic, Yo La Tengo, and Pavement), to help with his first full-length disc. Enlisting guitarist Anthony Bianco and drummer Eric Micali, they recorded Slow Down Kid, issued by Childlike Records in March 2003. With that, Emmich hired a publicist and shot a video for the track "Privacy Attracts a Crowd" that earned airplay on MTV2, and eventually he became the first unsigned artist ever to appear on MTV's Total Request Live. Naturally, he didn't remain unsigned for long, joining the Red Ink label, which had distribution through the Epic Records imprint of Sony Music. With that, he went back into the studio to make a refurbished version of Slow Down Kid. He kept six songs (with new overdubs on some), added four new ones, and got a new mix by Tom Lord-Alge for the Red Ink version of Slow Down Kid that was released in October 2004. Val Emmich's album, Little Daggers, will be released September 30 2008 via Bluhammock Music. Val has toured with Gavin Degraw, Better Than Ezra, Dashboard Confessional, Butch Walker, and others. Val is also an accomplished actor (Lucy Liu's love interest on ABC's "Cashmere Mafia", guest appearance with Tina Fey on NBC's 30 Rock. He'll be appearing in the new season of Ugly Betty on ABC as well as the independent film Fighting Fish.

When I was in junior high, the second-grade bully punched me in the stomach. Not only did it hurt and make me angry, but the embarrassment and humiliation were almost intolerable. I wanted desperately to even the score! I planned to meet him by the bike racks the next day and let him have it.  For some reason, I told my plan to Nana, my grandmother - big mistake. She gave me one of her hour-long lectures (that woman could really talk). The lecture was a total drag, but among other things, I vaguely remember her telling me that I didn't need to worry about him. She said, "Good deeds beget good results, and evil deeds beget bad results." I told her, in a nice way, of course, that I thought she was full of it. I told her that I did good things all the time, and all I got in return was "baloney!" (I didn't use that word.) She said, "Every good deed will come back to you someday, and every bad thing you do will come back to you."

It took me years to understand the wisdom of her words. Nana was living miles away from us. Each Tuesday, I came by and had dinner out together. I would always find her neatly dressed sitting in a chair right by the front door. I vividly remember our very last dinner together before she went into the convalescent hospital. We went to a nearby simple little family-owned restaurant. The food arrived and as I dug in, I noticed that Nana wasn't eating. She was just staring at the food on her plate. Moving my plate aside, I took Nana's plate, placed it in front of me, and cut her meat into small pieces. I then placed the plate back in front of her. As she very weakly, and with great difficulty, forked the meat into her mouth, I was struck with a memory that brought instant tears to my eyes. Years previously, as a little boy sitting at the table, Nana had always taken the meat on my plate and cut it into small pieces so I could eat it.

It had taken many years, but the good deed had been repaid. Nana was right. We reap exactly what we sow. "Every good deed you do will someday come back to you."

What about the second-grade bully?

He ran into the third-grade bully.

I know it's gonna be like this sooner or later. There's no need to be sad. Smile and smile! I bury all the memories in this summer. Look forward forever! GOOD LUCK TO MYSELF!

When I opened my blog today, I found there was a new comment. Ah, it was my dear little sunshine Stone, whom I've shared just about everything with since the first day we met in the college. Since she went to Beijing several years ago, we've both always looked forward to the few times we can see each other.

Last time we met, we found a nice coffee house and spent hours and hours there, staying up late in the night, talking about the people she was hanging around with. Like every gossip girls' party, I always thought it was the most amazing part. She started telling us stories about her ex-boyfriend, about how they experimented with this not very 'serious' (sorry I'd like to use this word and I will never consider this guy my best friend's boyfriend) relationship. Suddenly I heard the name of the guy, I was blown away! I've heard that guy for years, and he went to the same medical school in Beijing as Stone entered then. He is not very cute, not very tall, not very attractive at all. In brief, I think he is nothing to do with the image of Stone's boyfriend. The most important, I don't believe he could be able to take good care of Stone for the rest of the life. He was not the Mr. Right for her. Thank god she said 'ex-boyfriend'! We all told her it was good for her to break up with that guy. I tried to convince her that she was ruining her future and heading for big trouble. At least, when she goes back to Chengdu, they would be miles apart. I felt like I was going nowhere. I just couldn't believe that she really thought it was acceptable to hang with such a loser.

By the time I met Stone last time on MSN, she asked me and Tina about that whether she could ask the guy for dinner together before back to Chengdu. I was really worried about her and exhausted by the experience. Both Tina and I told her that it would not be a right choice, and she deserved  better.  Though it had been so frustrating we'd  been friends for far too long, and some people may think that we had just grown too far apart to continue out friendship--but I didn't.  We had to hope that she valued us enough to know that we was trying to save her from hurting herself. We wanted to believe that our friendship could conquer anything.

After the conversation, she told us she had thought clear and hard about the relationship between her and the guy, then she said she was in totally good mood and would not miss him again. Several days later, I visited her website and read what she wrote. I was really happy that time. It was one of the truely rewarding moments in my life. Never had I been so proud of a friend.

It is July now, and I am here to welcome my Stony back. Also I wish she will have a new fabulous START!

萨科奇又开始摆谱了－“中国政府和达赖谈得好，我就考虑去北京参加奥运会”。在北京免费邀请他来出席今年奥运会的时候，他却自己给这张门票开出来个价码。于是全世界人民不禁要问了：是北京筹办的奥运会还是你萨科奇？！

记得去年萨科奇在竞选总统时被问及北京奥运会的问题，他表示不仅法国的运动员会参加，如果获得邀请,他本人也将出席这场世界的体育盛会。当时他在批判其他两位候选人要抵制北京奥运会时慷慨激昂说“这是非常错误的表态”。而现在，当美国纠结于韩朝核问题，沉陷伊战泥潭等诸多国际事务的时候，他却“横空”冒出来向西方摇尾乞怜，对我国内政枉加干涉，并在他本人是否出席北京奥运会的问题上一再出尔反尔，企图将奥运会政治化。可是当他在这样左右摇摆的时候，有没有考虑到他是一个政治家而不是一个饶舌小丑呢？当他在给别的国家“指点江山”的时候，有没有“忙中偷闲”去检查一下他自家的后院是否已经起火了呢？一个小学生都知道记住老师的话，要先做好自己的事，你萨科奇却不顾自己在国内的毫无建树跑来在国际舞台上当大尾巴狼，真的很可笑。

或许萨科奇也知道利用“藏 独”来挟持中国只能是他自己的一厢情愿。他之所以对这样做无非是想提高一点媒体的曝光率和他作为一个“超级大国”总统的快感。然而他不应该被刚接过来的欧盟轮值主席国的权利大棒敲得如此脑残。妄图以此来增加自己的国际影响而不怕损失自己的尊严，真的很无知。其实比无知更可怕的是他竟然相信无知可以衍生出来他所期待的结果。布什尚且不止一次的宣称不应该把政治与体育混为一谈。而萨科奇就如同一个傲慢的滋事者，不断的破坏中法关系，伤害中国人民的感情，无聊的向奥运漫天要价。萨科奇怎么就不向他的“美国老爸”学习一下，还要如此的顽固呢？这样做的目的你又是想动了谁的奶酪？

萨科奇宣称会在8月份接见达赖，还故作神秘的模糊会见的具体时间，自以为是一把可以拿来向中国施压的“利器”。然而中国政府不买他的帐，中国人民也不买他的帐。在奥运会面前，所有人都是普通的，别把自己太当回事，所要做的只是管好自己老婆的那张大嘴巴。萨科奇无关奥运会的成败，我们也深信北京奥运会必将震惊全世界。

萨科奇已经不是一个受中国欢迎的人了。作为一名普通的民众，我们只想说，北京奥运，你走开！

邹美从彭州回来，整个人被晒的焦黑。我唠唠叨叨说怎么不擦一点防晒霜啊。她就简单的说了一句很麻烦。印象中，邹美一直没有其他的女生那么爱保养。她总说，她天生丽质，不需要任何修饰的。以前很鄙夷她这种自大，很多的时候我都以为她在搞笑，可是她却说她是认真的。末了还要补充一句说，我们平时总是打击她，所以她就只能自己给自己找回一点信心了。但我对她说的话不以为然，依旧拿她像是一个开心宝样的耍起。

后来有一天知道她要去彭州了。虽然地震过去了一个月的时间了，不过对于这种重灾区来说，条件的仍旧是一样的恶劣。无法想像她要有多大的勇气才能够去面对那满目的疮痍。然而她并没有多说什么，只是例行通知了几个朋友，收拾了一个小小的包裹第二天就出发了。将近一个月，期间因为担心她，又怕她在那边没有朋友谈心事，和她通了几次电话。每次电话那边传来的还是那么活泼开朗的声音。询问了一下那里的情况，才知道那里没有什么机会洗澡，洗衣服也是在河沟沟里面，每顿饭都是一样的，量也少。可是她却说朋友很多，工作很轻松，生活也很如意。电话里她从来没有抱怨过，谈及的最多的反而是那边的快乐，还有那边有多么的美丽。她告诉我说，有一天，他们抓了一条很大的鱼，一个外科医生主刀做来大家一起吃了，很香很香。我想对于我们来说，吃上鱼算不得什么奢侈，奢侈的是他们每个人面对着灾难却又洒落出天堂里的笑声。她说那里从来没有见到过有人哭。唯一有一次是因为驻扎那里执行任务的官兵要走的时候，老百姓像是痛失亲人般的伤心。

邹美回来以后我问起她有什么感受，她说，有一些不习惯，看不习惯高楼，觉得生活又重新变得很复杂。她说她比较适合乡下的生活，很自然，很回归，在那里让人感到很淡定。繁华的都市中，久了人都变得浮躁而冷漠。我想也许是吧，要不为什么我会经常走在车水马龙的街头，心里涌出来的却是无比的失落呢。

其实那天，我真的发现邹美很漂亮。用她自己的话来说，她是"内心和外表一样的纯洁"。可是我仍然没有说出来，我想她应该知道的吧。

邹美每天都要走过的路。

善良的邹美发现了一朵坚强的小花。

彭州还是那么美丽。

F9不是F4,也不是娱乐圈里面哪个新兴的组合.不知道聪哥以前是不是着迷于F4,可是昨天他对他电脑键盘上的F9却是情有独钟,两个多小时的执著让我彻底明白了"脑残"的定义.

丑丑兔也不是迪斯尼的大牌主角,而是月妈的一条牛仔裤腿.当她花了一个下午的时间,最后披头散发决绝的把她一条雪白的衬衣袖子剪下来套在那只所谓"兔子"身上时,我终于发现那是一只母兔子.

其实聪哥和月妈是两个文艺青年.很"疯"的那种.不过一直让我没有弄明白的是这两个特立独行并且有一点疯癫癫的80后是怎么样在一起纠结了两年多的时间而没有任何想要分开的迹象.可能聪哥当时在月妈的身后放"暗箭"是觉得月妈的秀色可餐,月妈却毫无防备的被这个愈来愈GAY的"丘比特"射中真的很邪门.

聪哥是个爱美的男生,于是经常烦恼他那张脸.如果说每个人的指纹都是不一样的,那么也没有任何两个人会长着同样的一张脸,尤其是某些标志的特征,比如有些人下巴上一颗很突兀的黑痣,如同单位的公章,怎么造假还是可以让人辨认出来.随之而来的好处就是老了以后痴呆走失,贴一张寻人启示,总不至于让人觉得无从下手.其实先天的缺憾也可以当作是一种美,后天的失败却总可以弥补.然而有的时候我也在想,聪哥的固执或许是身心上的,心理固执,肉体上就更发的扭曲,脸上的豆豆,经过中药的内服外敷,总是可以义无反顾前赴后继的一批批冒出来.前几天,在他们报社附近一家咖啡馆喝水,聪哥拿着手机一次又一次的拍着他那张脸,看后总是异常失望而又无奈的逼问我他最近是不是又变丑了.我紧张的不知道应该怎么说,心里却暗想"时间"真的是一个很强大又不可思异的东西,它可以改变一个人的审美观.当初记得刚和聪哥认识的时候,觉得他还是很抻展,穿着也很时尚.而现在,不知道是时间改变了他还是改变了我,抑或是改变了大家,反正我是觉得他问我的问题,答案都摆在了大家的眼前,大家又都装作视而不见.聪哥不仅爱美,还爱发脾气,像个刚睡醒无理取闹的小孩子.经常毫无任何预兆的时候骂娘摔东西.让人大气不敢出,心跳达到150.昨天当我还在和月妈商量晚饭吃什么的时候,他又跑来客厅发作.吓的我夹着尿从他家逃走.事后月妈说这种根本不需要理会他.可怜的月妈怎么咬牙坚持过来的这种悲惨生活啊.

月妈很时尚,是那种不俗气的.不过她要和我们一边打很俗气的麻将一边摆谈很俗气的八卦.以至于她打出来的麻将要宝气算到头痛都可以点她的清带根.月妈打麻将的时候很拼命,通宵过后还不允许我们打乱生物钟.于是某次凌晨从茶铺出来跑去麦当劳喝水,上岛咖啡刚一开门我们就冲进去下五子棋,神情疲惫的一个上午过后却不知道为什么要如此的"自残".昨天下午见到月妈,她说她要赶稿子.可是十分钟过后便跑去客厅里面大动针线.想法怪诞的月妈最后做出了一只很独特的小灰兔.如果偏要我夸奖两句的话,我就只能说是"丑乖丑乖"的.后来月妈瘫软在沙发上点了一支烟,下午就这样满足的结束了.

我和月妈说,我很想深入的发掘一下她和聪哥之间的关系.却没有想到写成了这种.也许他们是矛盾的统一吧.就如同一个房间里面,F9和丑丑兔在一起也可以很和谐.可能我"根本不懂".

不得不说橙色风暴已经席卷了整个欧洲大陆.荷兰小组三战全胜完美晋级了欧洲杯的八强,并且在死亡之组疯狂的打入了9球.荷兰在第一轮对阵意大利便以3-0的比分酣畅淋漓的颠覆了历史.今天凌晨,巴斯腾又用了最公正的方式对待了与罗马尼亚的比赛,2粒进球诠释了足球这项竞技体育让人为之疯狂的真谛.巴斯腾只是在用自己的计划打比赛,虽然主观上没有帮助意大利,客观上却给了意大利一线生机.也让意大利完成了出线的奇迹,使得这支冠军球队可以走的更远.意大利要感谢荷兰,是荷兰主宰了他们的命运,提前出线的情况下,完全可以轻易的将意大利和法国统统送回老家.2004年欧洲杯上,意大利队就在一场未输的情况下,惨遭了瑞典和丹麦联手暗算.然而事实证明荷兰足球没有如此的丑陋与邪恶.因着公平竞赛而还足球清白的荷兰也定将赢得人们的尊敬.死亡之组所有的恩恩怨怨,大喜大悲,不明不白,都在荷兰飞人的球技和品格下,变得微不足道.这一晚,荷兰真诚的让全世界流泪.

一直钟爱意大利.然而这次的赛场上完全找不到以前的影子.意大利的出线也着实让人高兴不起来.多纳多尼也不要因为2-0赢了法国而觉得一步登天.出线奇迹不仅要感谢荷兰,还要感谢老天和愚蠢的多梅内克.希望意大利不要被这一场胜利冲昏了本就在预选赛中残废了的大脑.迄今为止,本届欧洲杯上的三粒进球,来自一个角球,一个点球和一个任意球.没有一个运动战的技术破门.机会在这样一次次的浪费中,意大利也终于尝到了苦果.多纳多尼,你并没有赢,残酷的淘汰赛依旧在等着你.意大利,也希望你们在将来的几天能尽显一支冠军球队的本色.

无论怎么说,这次欧洲杯的主角注定是荷兰.不管将来还能够走多远,都会让人永远的记住这支永不消褪的橙色军团.

荷兰!ROCKING!

下午在MSN上碰见了波波,她说她又想起大学时候了.我想她是一个恋旧的人吧.其实我也算是吧.只是有的时候不敢去回想,甚至在整理电脑的时候都会有意无意的避开那些老照片.现在都变成了天各一方的人啊,一个人独自在成都,身边没有几个可以谈心的朋友,久了,人变的彷徨而又自闭.每天把自己关在屋子里面,任凭着寂静把身体撕扯的很疲惫.并不是说我的生活很黑暗,只是没了朋友,生活就变成了一种挣扎,而不是享受.

至今我还记得是怎么和波波混熟的.那是大一还是大二的时候,我骑走了她的自行车,晚上她要用的时候被我无理取闹的拒绝归还.当时她肯定把我批判的体无完肤了吧.不知道有没有想过是不是再也不要理我这个无赖了.后来很久彼此之间都没有再说过话.我自知理亏每次见到她都要绕路走.反正现在我认为她原谅我了.

波波以前搬家的时候,我能干的蹬着三轮车帮她运东西,贾姐的男朋友看到以为我是一个民工,可是我觉得自己心里却是很痛快.一个人,一辈子,能为朋友做多少事啊?两肋插刀吗?我还不知道我可不可以做到.但是我至少可以为朋友流一流汗水,虽然微不足道,我也乐在其中.家搬好了,经常跑去她那里打扰.她貌似从来没有不爽过我们给她添麻烦.每次都是做一点清茶淡饭的来招待,然后就东拉西扯的聊上一个晚上.虽然说的都是一些琐碎的小事情,心里却因为有着朋友而变得亮亮堂堂.或许,一个朋友就是生命中的一盏照明灯,永远在路边为自己默默的守护着却从不想要求什么回报.

现在那样的日子却再也不会回来了.自从波波去了上海,就没有几个能相聚的日子.记得她回来成都一次吧,却来也匆匆去也匆匆,阿糖出嫁的时候都没有能够回来去送一送.她说她后来在录相里面看到我们的时候都哭了.唉,真的很遗憾.今年波波自己又要结婚了.想起再也没有机会能像以前那样亲密了,不禁又让我很黯然.心里面不想让她结婚,嘴里却只能祝福她一辈子.

波波,在上海,永远平安.

（波波和她的老公）

It has been nearly a month since the earthquake measuring 8.0 Richter Scale hit Wenchuan, but it is still changing out life all the time. I have been crying many times, because the news coverage nearer the epicenter has been so comprehensive and the images have been so very heart-breaking to see. The tiny hand of a dead student clutching a pencil as his brocken body lay buried in the wreckage. The many pictures of the grieving parents who lost perhaps their only offspring. Just these awful circumstances but multiplied many many times over. It's too much to comprehend and forgetable.

Following the disaster is the numerous casualties, which can sink our heart to the lowest bottom effortlessly. Still there're aftershocks everyday. But the most important thing we need to do is to be calm down. Also this is a time that we need to hold together and try our best to help the friends who are suffering from the devastation and losing their homes and loved ones. We need to be strong together as a family fighting with this terrible disaster. Everyone should be commended for his hard work in supporting of the victims of the earthquake.

I know that it is going to be quite a long time for life to return normal, but all of people going through this will have the whole nation's love and best wishes. Let's contribute, pray and care for those we love while we have a chance. I believe tomorrow will be more beautiful and booming.

The New Year is a time for resolutions. Mentally, at least, most of us could compile formidable lists of 'dos' and 'don'ts'. The same old favorites recur year in year out with monotonous regularity. We resolve to get up earlier each morning, eat less, find more time to hang out with friends, do a thousand and one jobs about the house, be nice to people we don't like, and take the dog for a walk every day. Past experience has taught us that certain accomplishments are beyond attainment. If we remain inveterate smokers, it is only because we have so often experienced the frustration that results from failure. Most of us fail in our efforts at self-improvement because our schemes are too ambitious and we never have time to carry them out. We also make the fundamental error of announcing our resolutions to everybody so that we look even more foolish when we slip back into our bad old ways. Aware of these pitfalls, this year I attempted to keep my resolutions to myself. I limited myself to two modest ambitions: to do physical exercise every morning and to read more of an evening.

The daily exercises lasted only eleven minutes and I proposed to do them early in the morning before anyone had got up. The self-discipline required to drag myself out of bed eleven minutes earlier than usual was considerable. Nevertheless, I managed to creep downstairs for two days before anyone found me out. After jumping and running out of strength, I got back and sat down at the breakfast table in an exhausted condition. That was really unsettling, but I fended off the taunts and jibes of my friends good-humouredly and soon everybody got used to the idea. However, my enthusiasm waned. The time I spent at exercises gradually diminished. Little by little the eleven minutes fell to zero. After a week or more, I was back to where I had started from. I argued that if I spent less time exhausting myself at exercises in the morning, I would keep my mind fresh for reading when I got Home form work. Resisting the hypnotizing effect of the computer, I sat in my room for a few evenings with my eyes glued to a book. One night, however, feeling cold and lonely, I sat in front of the television pretending to read. That proved to be my undoing, for I soon got back to my old bad habit of dozing off in front of the screen. I still haven't given up my resolution to do more reading. In fact, I have bought a book Harry Potter for a really long time, but I just haven't had time to read it!

记不得有多长时间了,总是害怕黑夜的到来.窗外只有闪烁的霓虹灯,屋内打开所有的灯还是依然的昏暗.一个人静静的坐在电脑前面,只能任由一支支的香烟燃烧,期望有毒的气体可以填塞满整个房间,再侵蚀掉心头的寂寞.

曾经以为,孤独比寂寞更深沉.当自己沦陷在寂寞当中,才知道寂寞比孤独更难熬.孤独不需要熬,路没有尽头,可以无限忍受着走下去.寂寞却总是可以把人折磨到疲惫不堪,又带着更深的叹息浸入新的梦境.梦醒以后的叹息再次增加着疲惫的重量.日复一日,只剩一种虚无的感觉时,才明白更令人在意的其实是感觉.虚无是感受分明却触摸不到的空洞,空洞衍生的沉默有着冬夜空气一样的冰冷.如果沉默是一种言论,冰冷是一种温度,虚无,这个矛盾的极致,也许就是寂寞最后的感觉.

不知不觉,习惯了白天躺在床上发呆,夜晚看着烛台上蜡烛的跳升.习惯了黑白颠倒,像个幽灵一样游荡或者短暂停留.习惯了黑暗的亮度,怕强烈的光线刺伤了眼,怕刺伤的眼会不知不觉的流泪.

冬季就要过去,可是依然刺骨的寒流,依然让我习惯着双臂环抱的温度,左手牵着右手的温暖.习惯了午夜里耳轮和指尖冰凉的摩擦,熟悉的香烟弥漫停滞的空气中.有的时候满足于对着镜子微笑背后的那种自恋情绪,据说自恋是寂寞国度最为流行的疾病.

曾经以为,不会被寂寞打败.一个人的梦里,方知道寂寞也是一种瘾.戒不掉香烟,戒不掉寂寞......

就算天空再深看不出裂痕

眉头仍聚满密云
就算一屋暗灯照不穿我身

仍可反映你心
让这口烟跳升我身躯下沉

曾多么想多么想贴近
你的心和眼口和耳亦没缘份

我都捉不紧
害怕悲剧重演 我的命中命中

越美丽的东西我越不可碰
历史在重演 这么烦嚣城中 没理由

相恋可以没有暗涌
其实我再去爱惜你又有何用

难道这次我抱紧你未必落空
仍静候着你说我别错用神

什么我都有预感
然后睁不开两眼看命运光临

然后天空又再涌起密云

银行卡丢了,去挂失的时候人家告诉我要5天以后才可以补新卡.银行出来的时候,翻了翻兜里,只有4块2毛钱了.Damn,只能去邹美那里蹭饭吃了.

昨天下午公车晃过来,邹美饭也准备好了,挺丰盛的,三菜一汤.吃完,我们把电脑搬到了卧室里面,就上床了.发现了一部新的美剧Kyle XY,让我们两个看到了凌晨才睡觉.睡到中午起床,邹美把我拿过来的床单都洗完了.坐在沙发上,看着邹美忙来忙去的,突然很想很想过两个人的世界.每天过着简简单单油盐酱醋的生活,有时叫上朋友来家里,做上一顿饭,喝一点清茶小酒,摆一摆时下的八卦,清贫快乐一辈子,这该多么好啊.

最近看了一部连续剧,叫<奋斗>.里面说,每个人对于成功的定义都不一样,有些人为了钱为了事业奋斗过一辈子,可是到头来,似乎总是缺少了什么.我想缺少的就是一个家吧.有些人两千万摆在眼前,最终却选择了和自己最爱的人远走高飞,这才是最让人羡慕的吧.虽然剧情有一点drama,可是毕竟透露着那么浅显又容易让人忽视的东西.

好比桌子上那三菜一汤,简简单单的,虽然谁都可以做出来,但是吃下去的味道却是不一样的.一个人只能吃饱,两个人吃起来可以很快乐.

哦昨天去把头发弄了,顺便贴一张.邹美说我这是破罐子破摔,现在没钱穷开心,照出来没有看到头发怎么样,却可以死了以后用.唉,遗像就遗像吧,我先挂上了.

可能很多人依然享受着新年的快乐,但是对于我来说,却已经画上了句号.培培刚飞走了,开始上班了,我变瘦了,生病了……一切似乎都透着几分的凄凉.

通常,我把自己伪装成一个乐天派,无忧无虑的,在朋友面前耍一下宝,说上几句无伤大雅却可以另朋友开怀的笑话.可是一个人的时候,就突兀的变成了另外一个自我.一直以来我都没有搞清楚自己到底是不是一个纯粹的金牛座.朋友眼中,我现实,我乐天,与人无争却又带着几分的顽固.然而我自己一直怀疑我该属于一个不折不扣的有着分裂矛盾性格的双子座:一个沉静,一个好动,一个逞强,一个懦弱.不过我承认我是受不了寂寞的,至少离不开朋友.成都这里的朋友没有几个,大家都很忙.每次当培培回来,所有的人才会聚在一起疯上很多天,我的心里也会着实的亮堂许久.他一走,我们这堆人就会变成烂泥巴,怎么都扶不上墙.比如现在,我就只能一个人冷冷的坐在没有什么生气的家里,默默的点着一支又一支的香烟.虽然培培上飞机前还在对我说现在这个病,要戒烟忌酒不吃辛辣.唉,管他呢.

一直不敢去回首过去糟糕的一年.我想过去那个博客注销掉也好,总不至于会触景生情了.新年过完了,我只想好好的活过今年.送培培回来的路上,收到了他的简讯:

亲爱的们,我回广州了

谢谢你们这些日子陪在我身边,后会有期

我们都要加油

我们都会幸福

看到以后有些不能控制自己.这个新年我们都流了太多的泪了,但愿这是最后一次了.以后我们都要变出息.也谢谢你培培.亲爱的,我真的很想你.

亲爱的,生日快乐.

抑或平凡的生活里面没有太多值得庆祝的时刻,或许过去的一年里面有很多的不如意,但是今天,希望明年的我们,万事都如意.希望我们永远不分开.

或许湿冷的成都自然而然的就会让人的心里阴郁起来.嗯,数了数某人回来有限的几天,每天都过的不是好开心(如果你开心,好吧,那我说错拉.呵呵).

不得不说怀念是一种病,症状便是有意无意频繁约会老情人.虽然说大家现在都是好朋友.可是有人总是放不下.某人醉后眼眶发红冻的得得瑟瑟可怜巴巴的说,就知道见了面会是这样的结局,可是不见又总是想.唉,没有办法了.可能这种东西虽然称不上"毒"瘤吧,可是也得要长期的放化疗.其实我在想,偶尔找个陌生大夫打上一针,总该有些作用吧.嗯,Maybe.实在不行,我也可以献身.亲爱的,放心吧,我精神肉体都是非常支持你的.

其实见见面总归也没有什么不好的,以毒攻毒,见的多了,心里最后一丝希望消失了,不就recovery了嘛,然后就会是美好的回忆了.好吧我承认我一般都喜欢转化成厌恶&愤恨,真的很俗气.可能唯一的例外是刚吧,现在成了朋友.嗯,黄叔叔?不算吧,没有上过床,没有什么特别的感觉可言:)

亲爱的,Go ahead~至少还有乐观的我~生活要继续~我们都要~